La Salida

In my final days here, I ask myself how to approach the impossible task of saying goodbye. It is a goodbye to many dear friends, sisters and brothers who I have spent two years of life with, two years laughing and screwing around with, two years getting to know on personal levels, sharing each others feelings and struggles. Saying goodbye to a country that I love dearly, its volcanoes and lakes, its torrential downpours that catch you always unprepared, its jungles and giant trees, fruits, maizales y cafetales, a culture of resistance and revolution, a land filled with contradictions as well as hope and glimpses that show the Kingdom is possible. And more than anything, saying goodbye to a people, both collectively and individually, that have taught me so much, that purely and simply love to live.

Over the past two years of innumerable blessings and lessons and the extremes of life, the term solidarity has been an overriding and under-riding, maybe just an ever-riding theme. Solidarity is one of those buzz words often theorized about and striven for in certain circles. I have no idea anymore what solidarity would be defined as in a dictionary. It is one of those things difficult to describe with words.

Leaving Nicaragua it would seem that my solidarity with this pueblo will fade away as do the memories and the emotions. As I inevitably begin to lose touch with people and painfully recalibrate my identity back home, my ‘experiment’ with solidarity seemingly ends here. You might be saying, now I can go back to normal, assume a traditional career path, and once the shock wears off, return to the shopping malls and supermarkets to spend money to do my part in the economy. Yet, let me warn you, this time it is different for me.

In previous adventures through `service trips` or traveling or leaving my comfort zone, I was granted opportunities to grow and learn and share with others in what we call solidarity, only to return ‘home’, changed and awakened in real ways, but always with the tendency to return to `normal`. For me, solidarity was reduced to an action one does to grow closer to others – a pragmatic attitude that builds relationships for a definite period of time – like a switch that can be turned on and off while transitioning between realities.

As I am forced to ask myself what now, I feel solidarity inviting me to something else. To something deeper and more challenging. To something beyond adjusting consumer habits and food preferences. When we are granted solidarity with others, we are tasked with the responsibility of carrying them with us – to take their story, their eyes, their presence with us on our camino.

With saying goodbye, solidarity should not end or fade away – solidarity must truly begin. The lessons and tears and realities of others need to taint one`s own. They need to guide and shake up reality. Feeling confused and disoriented probably are signs of being on the right track. They need to be born witness to, and need to be fleshed out through one`s sweat and blood. It may seem obvious or insignificant, but let us be aware how tempting it is to fall back into the ruts of life`s past upon crossing cultures, slowly forgetting and draining one`s radicality and passion. Solidarity invites us to choose to actively and intentionally carry the realities and stories of others, like a little angel (or demon) on one`s shoulder. For these last two years to have meaning, for solidarity to not be some two year experiment, I must remain in a continuous dialogue with the realties and relationships that have redefined me here. I must spend the rest of my life asking myself what Silvia and Albita would do as I make decisions, how Silvio would laugh at my mistakes, what Walter would say from heaven as I walk by a homeless man, what the community would celebrate and criticize as we continue our separate caminos towards justice and life in abundance. Solidarity is an invitation and a responsibility to eternally embrace and work to maintain this perspective.

And finally, I am confronted by the overwhelming question of `How do I share this? ` How do I share the smells and feelings that pictures don’t capture, the jokes that don’t translate, the spirit and energies only understood by living them? So, if you`re reading this, bear with me as I land and struggle to try to summarize two years full to the brim with life love and the pursuit of …


To Nicaragua, Nicaraguita, I don’t say Adios. Solo puedo decir, y deseo con todo corazon, hasta pronto. And, on the other side of the coin, cant wait to see and reconnect with many of you…